#but i did intend to narrate this from both POVs

[tossawary]

One piece of acting advice that has stayed with me for years in regards to both writing and drawing as well is: "Don't use the body to act what the character is saying. Act what the character is THINKING."

Like, as a very, very basic example: a character is apologizing by saying, "I'm sorry." But that line is going to look and sound different depending on what the character is thinking. Crossed arms and a sullen tone can mean that a character is actually thinking: "I don't mean it and also I hate you." A pleading tone and reaching out to take the other character's arm can mean: "Please don't leave me." A tired voice and slumped shoulders within context could mean: "I did what I had to do."

This is one way to begin to do "Show, Don't Tell" in storytelling. It is trusting your audience to see the depth and to catch on to the things you leave unsaid. It's fun to let the audience be observant and clever. It is also reflective of real life, where people are often scared of being vulnerable, or don't necessarily even understand their own emotions, or can't articulate their own thoughts, or have difficulty identifying the true feelings of the people around them, and so don't say very much.

There are exceptions to this advice, of course. In writing especially, rather than in a visual medium, some POV characters are very good at reading emotions from body language and others are not, and their observations in the narration may reflect this skill. Some characters will assume everyone around them is always angry with them or simply not pay attention to other people's moods at all, personalities which can also be subtly communicated to the audience and later used in the story in some interesting way.

Some characters have excellent control over their body language and tone of voice, because they are on-guard, highly trained in some fashion, or a very good liar. They will not easily communicate their true thoughts through their body language or their actions. Their lie can be so good that it can be slipped past the audience as nothing important to the plot until it comes back to bite. Their oddly perfect control over their body in a tense situation can instead maybe be used to indicate to the POV character and/or the audience: "Oh, there's something up with this person."

Body language will also change by culture and class and disability and so on. This clash can cause communication problems between characters, as a character's affectionate pat on the shoulder of another might be intended as casual comfort, but be received as overly intimate condescension. Different cultures / people can even have very different opinions on what level of eye contact and overlapping speech is rude.

This advice was originally given to me in the context of illustration and animation, in which it is very common for inexperienced artists to act out the words that the character is saying in mime-like gesture. In media for young children, we might choose to keep things very simple, as toddlers struggle to learn what it looks like and feels like to be angry or happy. But past that? People don't really behave this way. What we say and what we really mean are not always synchronized, and we can use the body to communicate this.

[daradiostarzz]

Okay Hiii me back!! Time to talk about Book Enzo (Honestly the best iteration of Enzo) and an insight on him because I feel people look at book Enzo so one noted and it's very frustrating to watch so okay.

Context: The Book was where Nicky's friends were mostly introduced (This was during a time when SN wasn't considered part of the lore so no Finch, no Ivan and no Delroy and Leader, Brave and Detective were separate cause like Maritza and Enzo were hinted to be dark skinned mexicans) Enzo in the books was also very different in the two books.

Yes he IS a nerd he HAS nerd qualities but he was also had a very sharp tongue and will opp out of a conversation when Aaron is brought in as a topic. And book 2 is where Enzo stole alot of the show cause of his arc and turnaround and also his argument with Nick in chapter 7 and the iconic:

"Have fun alone." While Jackson 5 is blasting in the bg

He also did something somewhat of a prick move which was: ditching Nick & Maritza to instead hang with kids whom he had zero platonic compatibility with and allowing them to walk all over him (Like them giving him an embarrassing nickname) and though in the end of the book he does have a turn around and make up with Nick. Alot of people by that time see Enzo as a prick/mean girl/idk whatever u wanna call him. Ik 14 year old me did at the time till I reread it and started to be charmed and eventually now I usually tend to defend some of his actions of book 1-2 (3 I'll tab in a bit l8r)

Okay, let's start w the easy one which is Enzo telling Nick off in chapter 7 about staying away from Maritza & Trinny: In book 1 Enzo told Nick "Oh btw your neighbor cornered my sister and told her about her dead friend flying" and to which Nick then met up with Maritza irl by book 2 and the two shared a bond over them losing a close friend while amidst Nick falling out w Enzo. So let's go back to that first sentence in blue: imagine a friend of yours is friends with someone who the adult figure in their life said something pretty horrifying to a family member, to which you tell them about it & instead of that friend backing off that friend with the scummy adult figure they instead put your family member risking their life for investigating on that scummy adult figure behind your back cause they thought you simply just want to hide behind your tail and not confront the situation, and mind you. You and the friend are both 12.

Now let me say this: Yes it was somewhat scummy for Enzo to try and avoid it at all costs especially when Maritza was hurt he did not take into consideration her feelings BUT the situation could've been bad had Maritza been closed off to the topic about her two dear friends & being thrust into foregoing to investigate a man who said creepy shit to you by someone you kinda met through your brother. Yeah, Enzo HAD a reason for what he said about Nick staying away from Trinity and Maritza two people who he not only cares about but HAS HISTORY. I love Nick but it is stupidly dangerous how he set up 2 other kids to investigate with him and doesn't think of how DANGEROUS that is especially since in the books it is HEAVILY IMPLIED THEODORE ABUSES AARON.

This isn't a case of unreliable narration or the author forgot to add it in it's a case where the POV doesn't understand why the character feels like that way, it's Nick POV at the end of the day he doesn't have all the answers but it's hinted.

They're meant to be a parallel to their own fathers' how-to approach to an article on Theodore except switched on its heads. So yeah how do you expect a bunch of 12-year-olds to react to someone being kidnapped?

Aaron & Enzo: Okay in general this is something I always kept in mind about the books especially cause this was intended by the author:

Enzo and (the rest of the kids too not just him.) Are meant to be flawed so it's not a surprise personally he doesn't want to be affiliated with something as macabre as Lucy's death or the Petersons anymore and is again trying to cope (He's 12 his mind is at the end of the day still developing) but it just doesn't work. My only complaint was I wished we could've seen a scene where Enzo realizes Ruben and Seth didn't care for him. But with what we have I much rather have it be implied through Enzo not making it to the basketball team and finally Enzo and Nick making up and going to Miguel for help. Nick & Enzo CARE about the people they love they unfortunately butt heads over how to approach it with Enzo wanting Nick to do nothing while Nick wants Enzo to do something. They don't HATE each other I do not understand where that is coming from especially cause Nick was so quick to forgive Enzo even wanting to hug him like... They care for each other, they just clashed about how to approach a very heavy situation that will likely get police involved.

And as for Enzo falling out with Aaron, obviously, it's the Maritza situation I want to irritate though that yes Aaron isn't at fault Enzo probably with the influence of Miguel shaped his mindset that Aaron and Mya are people he should stay away from in order not to be sucked in by Theodore's toxicity (Cause that book they were all 10 and had brains that soak up like a sponge)

Okay time to talk generally about book 3: It's a very weak book that forces the characters to be written out of a plot for the final scene which was planned out. And though yes Enzo abandoned Nick (with like also Trinity and Maritza)

Oh right I totally forgot HNVR exist despite how book 3 seems to have written them not wanting to do with anything w Nick! let's all actively pretend book 3 never existed:

Okay, I'll try my only defense for him in book 3 is: Everyone was written stupidly for a forced conflict but I think cause as a reader I was desensitized to Enzo being mean it doesn't come off as left field for me as Trinity and Maritza also he was the last one to opp which again says alot. Also HNVR says otherwise let's pretend they realize how stupid they were and then wanted to apologize only for Nick to be missing let's say that (or pretend book 3 never exist)

So yes this is my gushing about the book Enzo and why I believe he's the most well-written character in the books and what I think alot of people tend to miss out... I wish Enzo was more studied on like this on the same levels as Ted tbh lol

I love these four... I will talk about these four... Please let me talk about their book versions of them so bad you have no idea how much I will go the 7 seas to defend them like a soccer mom.

[physalian]

I don’t know if you’ve written about this, but I really like the way you explain things, so I’d like to ask.

What do you say about writing a book with different perspectives. Like.. a book starts off from one perspective. But then the whole book goes on with the other character’s perspective. (The 2nd pov belonging to the main character)

But what do you say about switching perspectives in general? How can it be executed well?👀

I kind of did this on this post about what style of POV and narration you want to do, as well as the troubles of head-hopping, but what you're asking is a bit different, I think. So, two things I’d want to know:

How long are we following the first character before we switch over?

Do you intend to make this first POV the prologue or in any way clear to the reader that this isn’t the actual protagonist?

Asking because doing this runs the risk of bait-and-switching your readers. I’m going to assume First Narrator remains a character in the story and most of the time when this happens, the opening narrator ends up being the villain/antagonist. The bait-and-switch confusion will happen if you’re not clear that this is temporary, because readers expect the first narrator to be the protagonist—even in ensemble casts where you rotate narrators. Otherwise, your readers are going to be wondering:

A) When is First Narrator getting another POV? B) Why isn’t First Narrator getting another POV? C) Why did we start with First Narrator? Couldn’t you have just worked whatever information is given in that POV somewhere else?

All that goes out the window if you make it clear this one-off narration is a prologue. Prologues kind of have no rules. They can be a message from the future narrator, like in Twilight, or a classic “reader beware this story might make you one of us” fourth-wall break.

It could be the set-up of a mystery, like in police procedural shows where episodes begin with the crime, then cut back to the main cast here to solve it. The meta-context of a prologue lets your readers know this bit of story is an outlier from the rest of the book and we should not expect something similar again, nor be disappointed and confused when it doesn’t happen.

—

Now then. Multiple narrators.

I have never written a story, except a couple one-shots, where I only have one narrator. Regardless of what POV you write in, there’s benefits to both sides. If you only have one narrator, you are locked onto that character and only that character, save for whatever visions/videos/journal entries/dream sequences the narrative allows to quasi-follow another character. This forces you to keep your protagonist active in the story and make them the avenue through which all information is given, for better or for worse.

Multiple POV, however, lends itself to feeling more… cinematic. You run the risk of your protagonist getting lost in the shuffle, but now they no longer must be present for every scene. They can be asleep or in another location or otherwise occupied. It also gives you the chance to flavor your writing with the personalities of your other narrators. I have a character in ENNS who’s autistic, and how I write his POV is very different from the rest of the cast.

It also lets your characters be biased and unreliable in how they describe things, which you can take to some very interesting ends. Narrator A might loathe Narrator B and in A’s POV, they’re just nasty toward how they interpret B’s actions. When we cut back to B, it’s a whole different ballgame.

Now you have “A said, B said, and the Truth”. It also lets you get rife with dramatic irony in a way that Single POV can’t. The amount of information the reader can learn from multiple characters that the actual characters are clueless about can be entertainingly frustrating.

Check out the POV post for a recommendation on how to go about it logistically, but generally, even with an ensemble cast, you still have a “lead” character, one that stands just a little bit higher than the others as an anchor point for the audience.

Even in TV shows like Teen Titans, where they’re very much an ensemble cast, they have entire seasons with arcs for one character, and every episode tends to have the “character of the day” as the anchor of that episode’s story. I’d go one chapter in your lead character’s POV before switching over to other narrators, for the sake of endearing your readers to your hero, instead of confusing them by cutting away too soon. Go any longer than one chapter, and you risk confusing your audience that wasn't expecting multiple POV, without banner style headings.

[romanticatheartt]

i love all your opinions and agree w them wholeheartedly so i wanted to share my first thoughts of when i read acosf which is that i genuinely believe sjm planned acotar only as a trilogy (as in, never intending to write further books beyond it).

i mean it is a trilogy and it ties up nicely at the end of acowar- but i think the trilogy did so well and people enjoyed the characters so much & asked for more that she was like okay.... i'll keep going! but did not have any semblance of a plan!!! (at least, not when she was writing acotar/acomaf) hence the clunkiness of silver flames!!

sjm had put so much dirt on elain and nesta in the first book (if you read only acotar, you would be pretty appalled to find the 5th book is nesta's pov imo) that continued into the second and third, that she had some serious backtracking to do, even with the respective characters arcs of both sisters going into the cauldron.

but in trying to set up her new protagonist into the classic YA female main character role (and this is why i think so many people found silver flames a bit meh comparatively), sjm almost undoes feyre's character building from the beginning of acotar.

suddenly there's a mother in the picture who is conveniently never before mentioned that of course has a huge affect on shaping the sisters, with nesta in particular - and sweet feyre was none the wiser, being the father's favourite!

even if you are compelled to believe that their mother managed to treat nesta so terribly that she somehow held a grudge in future (but only against feyre? and not elain?) it's still... an awful way to act. like, not the thing i think you're supposed to read and then root for?

i truly think in order to make feyre more pitiable in the first book, she went the cinderella angle and almost made her sisters like wicked step-sisters and then realised later that she had to make nesta either a) admit she was a shit person at the time or b) magically create some trauma that meant nesta didn't feel she had to apologise for acting that way (which is just so stupid in itself, as though sjm thinks if nesta had ever apologised it would take away from her 'tough as nails' persona)

ok this is so long im so sorry..... i have so many opinions about silver flames in particular

I think even sjm said it herself that while writing acomaf she decided to expand the series and give other characters an story as well. I'm not sure when she said it but I think it was on Facebook.

And to be honest with you, sjm talking about Nesta's past and her parents didn't feel like she was changing Feyre's plot to me. Feyre also talked about their father and there's this scene when she visited Velaris for the first time and she says the scent of spices reminded of her of her father's business. And in acotar when she comes back to to human land right before going to UtM, she says that their father is in his room checking their accounts and is like old times like nothing has changed. I think these all point to the fact that she remembers how their father was, specially to her, is just that after everything that happened she doesn't see fit to talk about her father as someone who was his favorite. And in acotar she says Elain is the one who's really close to him and he likes to keep her company, so in her eyes Elain was their father favorite child. And their mother was the one who made her promise to protect their family. But as much as Feyre's mother was neglective toward Feyre, she focused more on Nesta and a little bit Elain. Nesta's trauma is from their mother's attention and Feyre's for lack of it.

Feyre's pov is first person so whatever she thinks is whatever she knows and feels. So it was easier for sjm to write a back story that Feyre might not remember duo to being young. And like everyone else love to say, Feyre is not a reliable narrator and they're right to an extend. Yes she might not know everything but her feelings are valid. If she feels in a certain way toward her sisters then it's because her sisters were awful to her, no amount of back story and different perspective will ever change that. So blaming her, for narrating Nesta (and Elain) for what happened to her at the cabin as the "bad" sisters in her story, is nonesense lol

And even both Nesta and Elain admit they were horrible to Feyre. Nesta was suicidal for it ffs. She constantly says she failed Feyre and when she confesses to Cassian, he asks her if she told her sister how she feels and she tells him she doesn't know how to. Which in my opinion this was a mistake on sjm part for not making Nesta verbally apologising to Feyre because words can be powerful and Nesta knows it, because she wielded them like a weapon to constantly hurt Feyre. It would made the readers more satisfied. But like you said sjm kinda wrote her like she has nothing to apologies for. And created the worst pregnancy plot just for Nesta to save her little sister as a redemption arc...

But I think we should give credit where it's due. Nesta saying her very first "I love you" to someone and that person being Feyre was beautiful. Yes it might not be enough specially after everything that happened in acosf but it was really powerful and I cried for that scene.

Anyways we can talk about acosf on how sjm could've made it way better and more impactful forever. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter. I'm pretty sure sjm didn't intend to make Feyre's trauma less important and tbh I didn't feel that way, it's the fandom who undermining it and I hate it :')

Also you can always come here and talk about your opinion. I'm glad you feel safe enough to do so<33

[moonvyx]

𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 - 𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬

THIS STORY IS MADE BY ME, AVTIAGON, FROM WATTPAD

lowercase intended

tw: none

narrator's pov

y/n and sirius have been dating for almost 6 months. and in those 6 months, they have this every friday midnight date where they either go to the astronomy tower or near the black lake and watch the stars above.

and today's friday, both were very excited that their friends were sick of them.

later that night, sirius impatiently waited for y/n to come down. but when she did, he immediately hugged her and peppered kisses all over her face, "finally you're here! 've been waiting for ages," he takes her right hand and kisses the back of it.

"i didn't even take that long," she chuckles.

"3 minutes feels like forever."

y/n playfully rolls her eyes, "alright, mr. dramatic. let's go before those 3 minutes turn into 3 hours with your complaining," she smiles as she drags sirius out of the common room.

the two shared giggles and laughs as they ran down the hallways of hogwarts, hiding in corners and behind pillars whenever a prefect would pass by.

not even 5 minutes later, the couple arrived at the astronomy tower.

"are you sure we won't get caught? we usually do the lake," y/n concerningly asks as sirius prepares their blankets and pillows.

he nods, "mhm. i asked remus and he said no one was checking the tower tonight. someone said there's a niffler that found its way here. and no one wants their shiny badges taken."

she gave him a look, "a niffler?"

"don't you and your pretty face worry, gorgeous. it's just a rumor," he says as he finishes up and walks towards her, leaning in for a short kiss, "now, let's enjoy the stars."

the two lay down on their shared blanket, a couple of pillows supporting their heads as they held hands.

"see anything?" he asks.

"well, i can make out sirius."

"oh no, here we go," y/n thought, knowing what sirius is about to say.

"oh? why not make out with the better sirius?" he sends her a wolfish grin.

y/n mentally face palms but chuckles anyway, "who said?" he pretends to be offended by placing a hand on his chest, "how dare you! i am the better sirius!"

both your smiles grew, "i never said you aren't the better sirius, jus' asked who said."

"but you're not just the better sirius, you're the prettiest sirius," she adds.

"how 'bout more handsome?" he asks.

she chuckles, "that too."

"so, why not kiss me now?" he asks again, "this is the closest you'll be to a star," he slowly moves forward, y/n doing the same.

"if that's the case, then sure, why not?"

and as soon as she says that, sirius closes the gap between them.

[greghatecrimes]

Easter Eggs - In the Dirt Chapter 3

Okay. I have so many of these that I threw in for funsies. I had to have something to keep myself entertained while PVP-ing writer's block for six months xD I'll post my favorites first, just since the list is kind of ridiculously long, lol.

First: the entire funeral section of the chapter is written with the same structure as the first chunk of chapter one. >:) ("Sticky counters under fingertips. The sharp tang of sweat and alcohol..." -> "The stifling scent of artificially perfumed flowers. A dusty Princeton funeral home...")

Now for narration and dialogue. Unless stated otherwise these are just meant to be parallels/nods that we the readers see, not that the characters are explicitly referring to within the story.

"I'm going to die. What difference does it make if it's when I'm still young and healthy, or if it's five years from now when I've lost the ability to walk? To talk?”: This one is meant to be a tonal parallel to Thirteen and House's argument in You Don't Want to Know. ("I might die. So could you, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. The only difference is you don't have to know about it today, so why should I?")

"Oh, grow up.” House snarls, so sharply that Thirteen feels herself flinch. “It's the same for all of us. Everybody dies. You know damn well that none of us get to do it with any dignity.”: HNNNNFHFSDF this is my favorite one. On my part, it's a reference to both Pilot ("You can live with dignity; we can't die with it") and House's angry, grieving outburst to Thirteen in Dying Changes Everything. ("People die! You, Amber, everyone. Don't act like you just figured that out.") Within the story, House only intended it to be a callback to the latter.

"You'd rather die than let anyone see the real you, because you think you're weak. You think you're pathetic.”: OOSHGSDF THIS IS MY OTHER FAVORITE. Okay. This was meant to be a parallel to my 7x18/5x08 web weave. Specifically House's dialogue with Sophia in Emancipation ("You need people to see how independent you are, how well you're coping. So they won't see the lost, hurt little girl.") (The other parallel to the web weave that I threw in there was Thirteen's later thought of House... what did you do?)

Before you start yelling at me– They're heading down a two-lane road, passing field after field under a dizzyingly wide blue sky, and Thirteen's vision fills with green-green-green– I'm doing this because I care about you.: When I first set up this connection when I was outlining the chapter, I almost fuckin' screamed. BIRTHMARKS. BIRTHMARKS!!!!!!!!! ("I am not doing this because I care.") I drove myself fucking insane with this one. I could write a whole ass post about the parallels between this chapter and parts of Birthmarks, but I think a lot of it will probably end up getting sprinkled into House's POV. (Edit to add: and the drugs. that was ALSO an intentional birthmarks reference. Idk how I forgor the drugs😭)

The rest are under the cut if anyone is curious!

Thirteen asking Foreman "Are you... okay?" at the beginning of their phone call: This was meant to parallel the moment in The Dig when Thirteen asks House the same thing, immediately after finding out that he and Cuddy had been dating but broke up.

“You had me worried for a second there. I thought you were about to show up at my apartment with a dead body or a stab wound.”: A nod to Darrien going to Thirteen for help in After Hours.

"I'm sorry." "Hey, no, don't do that.": Parallel to Remorse, when Foreman apologizes for firing Thirteen in the middle of their argument, and Thirteen snaps, "Don't do that! That's not what this is about!"

"What, did he finally break parole and get arrested or something?": Parallel to an exchange between House and Thirteen in The Dig about Lucas ("You could have at least hired Cuddy's weird boyfriend." "Lucas?" "Mmm-hmm." "You don't know?" "What, is he dead or something?"). Except with the horrible irony of: this time, someone actually is dead. Or something.

“I’m trying... to say that he’s gone. House is gone.” “Excuse me?”: Meant to be a thematic mirror image of a moment between Foreman and Thirteen in The Softer Side ("Do you miss sleeping with women?" "Excuse me?"). Tone-wise and context wise, they are complete opposites. But both times Thirteen reacts to the shock by asking for clarification (because clearly, to her, what she just heard can't possibly be what Foreman intended to say.)

"We've gotta be realistic. He's attempted before.” “Yeah, four years ago!": Reference to House quite literally killing himself (for less than two minutes) via electrocution in 97 Seconds.

"Why the hell did you just give up? What happened to 'killing yourself is never the answer?'”: House is referencing what Thirteen tells their patient in The Softer Side ("No matter how bad things get, killing yourself is never the answer"). He didn't mean it as a reference to Kutner, but it triggers memories for Thirteen of Kutner's suicide.

His words hit her like a sucker punch as memories of a different person– a different time and place, blood coated over her hands and face, cold and thick and copper-crisp– flash before her mind's eye.: Thirteen remembering the moment they discovered Kutner in Simple Explanation. (Also occurs at the end of the chapter when she feels "someone else's blood that drips from her face")

House's jaw drops.  “Charity case?” he demands, incredulous. “After everything I've done, you think that's what this is? A charity case?": lol this was just a nod to the title of the 'House fires Thirteen so she can be happy' episode being Charity Case. Something something House has never seen Thirteen as a charity case something something Thirteen tries to say he does so she can deny emotional involvement/connection.

She'd written out a little speech. Something about spud guns and lesbian bars and the number thirteen...: In-story reference to the events of The Dig and The Choice

Chase's easy grin, Eric's warm hand around her own: Thirteen remembering Last Temptation (Chase grinning and hugging Thirteen when he sees her again for the first time) and Simple Explanation (Thirteen and Foreman holding hands as they watch Kutner's funeral procession)

The cool metal of a spud gun beneath her fingers and House's hand over hers, steadying: That one screen cap from The Dig where Thirteen's aiming the spud gun and House looks like he's supporting her/guiding her through it. Thirteen is remembering that moment.

[emtmercy]

hi same person sorry i do think evaluating the harm louis and lestat do to one another as equivalent is shortsighted and fails to account for the numerous power imbalances between them. would legitimately like to know your thoughts on this as you are clearly a thoughtful person, even if we disagree

I think part of this is that we disagree on the central framing of their relationship there as well. Louis’ presentation of himself as under Lestats power is very much part of his role as an unreliable narrator and one of the major issues challenged by the second book and the second season

That doesn’t mean there are no power imbalances in any avenue of their relationship but I think its really flattening it to something it’s not to want it to be “this one has all the power and is the abuser and this one is under his boot and is the victim”

We also see this with Louis and Armand. Like on the face at the beginning g of the season fans thought Armand had all the power and was locking Louis psychologically in that tower in Dubai and then at the end we find out it’s Louis who’s condemned them to this life together !

This is a huge and important part of his character. The power over others that he denies

I think something I love about the show is that it delves into great harm outside of the dichotomy of abuser/victim

And whether or not you think Louis is The Victim and Lestat the Abuser the people making the show don’t think that. Hence Jacob saying you could just as easily say Louis is abusive to Lestat. Like that’s our Louis and that’s what he said. Rolin calls it toxic and fucked up not abusive

Hence the writer quotes all referring to their harms in equal terms. You may disagree on a personal level that they are equal but the writers think it is and that’s why they keep saying things like “these two people have mutually hurt each other a lot”and the like

That would be a disgusting victim blaming way to discuss abuser and victim

They speak of it as mutual destruction and mutual culpability. And they write it that way too

That’s why the season culminates with an apology from Louis rather than Lestat !!

Again that would be a horrible and nonsensical choice if the writers shared your viewpoint

One thing I love about the show is that they said there’s no villain between these two men. There’s no abuser. But there is pain and there is hurt and harm and there is need for repair and need for the taking of responsibility

That’s why Rolin said this series does not compute with reduction

and I get why people might object to their writing choices but I wish people wojld acknowledge that the writers and actors keep saying both with the show but also just out loud to reporters that they didn’t intend it as a human abuser/victim dynamic even as they did want to address great harm between people who love each other

Like as you yourself correlated there’s a reason it didn’t occur to them to add a domestic violence warning until there was big backlash

I really maintain that this show would be horribly offensive if it intended the narrative you are receiving

What would be the narrative point of revealing Louis’ lies and omissions about his culpability I f not to recontextualize their relationship? This is why they revealed Claudia’s making to be the way it was

That’s why they purposefully hid Louis’ part of the fight in season one and revealed him kicking Lestats ass first in season two

What would that serve if not to recontextualize their relationship? That reveal would be meaningless and random otherwise. If it was just a victim response that didn’t impact how we were supposed to see their relationship it wouldn’t have been a grand reveal

Why do you think they presented the fight first through Claudia’s POV where she doesn’t see most of it to have a big reveal later if that wasn’t supposed to matter hugely to what we see their dynamic as?

This is based on the huge reveal between the first two books

The reveal that Lestat was not their abusive master but something harder to define and with more mutual culpability to go around is a central tenet of these novels. And the Memory Is A Monsyer theme is inspired by this specific piece of the novels as explained by Rolin

Why do you think when season one episode five dropped they were quoted that we should wait and see how they expand on it if the expansion didn’t matter?

Those are supposed to be huge reveals that matter to how we view them. It’s meant to contextualize and radically shift what you thought about the level of shared culpability between them

And Lestat just does not engage in the cycle of abuse with Louis in season 1

Abuse cycles are real concrete things with an aggressor and a victim

And abuse isn’t just “okay these people hurt each other, who got hurt worse?“

It’s an unending cycle of domination

They mutually are toxic to each other but we don’t see a pattern of Lestat terrorizing Louis for dominance which is what abuse is in real life

The only time Lestat engages with smth that could slot into that is the fight and the show literally had a huge reveal this season that was supposed to change your thoughts on it

I think also that sometimes people watching the show feel that, re power dynamics, Louis’ blackness makes him the victim

And I really take issue with that as a black person

Like social positioning in real life very much can affect abuse but being black or gay doesn’t actually make you less capable of having agency in your relationship or to cause harm

To quote Jacob, let him be the problem !

[ladyhindsight]

I think the problem with a lot of CC's characters is that she always tries to make them too nice imo.

She had something going on with Julian but then she backtracked and fumbled it, just like with the og versions of Grace and James we saw in TMH, where Grace straight up threatened someone with a sword and announce her loyalty to her mother, and James was out there shooting people and tricking mundanes -granted we are told that is not his usually behavior but anyone acting like that under any circumstances is not doing all right in the head. Idc what he had going on, I'm sure it was more interesting than TLH James.

Everyone in TLH should have been meaner, actually. There were hints dropped about Thomas and Lucie in gotsm and CoHF iiirc that made me think they were going to be Something. Magnus's comment about how he couldn't save James or Lucie (amounted to nothing in the end btw) and Cassie's insistence of the fact that the modern day Blackthorns were not descended from Lucie made me sure that her plotline was going to be that she resurrected Jesse and they both got immediately executed for it. And there's a point in gotsm where Magnus says that Thomas could be a green eyed monster (also amounted to nothing) and I remember there was a whole theory that he got his marks stripped and that the Rosales were descended from him. The inscription on the Scholomance, the snippet of someone dying in their love's hands, the promise of the Verlacd in TLH... Literally amounted to nothing. How is TLH so half-baked and nonsensical when she had ten years to plan it?

And Tessa, in the first book there are some fascinating gender shaped holes in her narration. About how she and her aunt spent years protecting Nate from seeing the way his gambling made their lives harder and about how they shouldn't have done that, how she saw his recklessness as innocence, how she acknowledged that deep down she always knew he was up to no good... And then Mortmain shows up and she falls back on the established pattern of trying to protect her brother's "innocence" as it was expected from her. And that was good writing; that was something she had done countless times, that was her role as a woman in her society, that was what was expected of her, that was what she knew was wrong and couldn't stop doing.

Sadly, this disappears after the first book. CC probably realized she couldn't have a protagonist that was not a feminist and instead had to take all of the Gender out of Tessa's narration. Like, no, let her confront her Gender and the horror of being trapped in a patriarchal society and being trapped at the whims of those more powerful than her, let us linger on the way the patriarchy also has a hold of Sophie and Charlotte and Jessamine. Let her feel the horror that even if she does leave to live a normal life, she could never have children and thus failed at her expected role in society. Actually have Tessa react when Mortmain tells her she CAN have children and that he intends to force her to give birth to his children. Don't jusg drop that and leave, CC! Linger on the horror of it all!

Jem also annoys me because he is simply too bland, when he shouldn't be! On paper, he should be one of the most interesting characters in TID! A foreigner, addicted to a drug against his will, chronically ill, member of a family with a legendary sword, the only person trusted by the Institute's equivalent of a stray cat that hisses at you every time it sees you. (And don't get me started on Will's curse being a hoax, I hated that.) We could have seen more about his feelings for his homeland, about what he was like under the effects of the drug, his pain... But we don't get that. What we get is him being the Herondales cheerleader, even when he gets his own book (and his pov was the most boring one in it, pass it on). Something that annoyed me irrationally was that he did not raise Emma after the events of TMI, but he does take Kit in after TDA.

This very much feels like CC wanted Emma to be in Los Angeles so she could kickstart the plot. But she could have had Emma go with Jem, then hear about the murders in LA, then go and investigate, and through her hard work being considered the best of her generation as the readers can see the journey; this way having a concrete arc and also being active in her pursuit for revenge.

And having her actively chase what she wants would also make her more distinct from the other heroines. They don't usually pursue stuff, with the exception of Clary taking reckless actions that somehow work out; stuff happens to them.

Emma really does read like a female Jace but I firmly believe that if CC had bothered to develop some other aspects of her personality that were established, like her liking to wear dresses (which is the most CC can write for a female character without the need to vilify or ridicule their femininity) or by actually telling me what her hobbies are, because I cannot remember what Emma likes to do in her spare time. Maybe because I haven't read TDA in so long, most likely because CC never even tells us - I know Julian likes to paint, Dru likes horror movies, Ty likes Sherlock, and so on, but I could not tell you anything about the main character.

And having Emma and Julian separated would also be a good commentary on how the Clave would have not cared about separating the children and make Julian's fears feel more valid. Julian and her could not be parabatai in the "Jem takes Emma timeline" but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make since that plotline DRAGGED.

They could still have a whirlwind romance, that doesn't change. Currently rereading CoHF and the way these two are so obsessed about each other at 12 yo... It's giving Cathy and Heathcliff. Their relationship is going to be that one meme of:

"When their entire relationship is toxic, but they're both so fucked up that it's actually the best case scenario, because subjecting anybody else to either of them would be a human rights violation."

I firmly believe that CC tries to make her characters likeable and as such doesn't venture into making them have opinions and thoughts that could shock the reader. That's why so many of her characters fall into the same boxes. Because she doesn't dare to make them more complex.

The whole of the Shadowhunter Chronicles is just a pile of wasted opportunities, many of which you’ve included here. Character development or delving into many of the rather obvious themes and issues surrounding her characters has never been the precedence. Why focus on thematic organically surrounding Tessa when there is Will to care about? Why make Jem more fleshed out and independent as a character when there is Will to cheer on? Why even deluge yourself with the societal issues, actual taboos, norms—breaking them and forming new ones and changing the world with tough conversations and verbal battles when there is this huuuge MMC/MFC romance that hogs most of the pages and drowns everything else under it?

Clare has created a world with history and concepts and fantastic elements, and she absolutely sucks at implementing any of it into her writing. She doesn’t include tropes, she writes around them.

TLH bunch had way more to them, more contrast and flashier inter-character dynamics. Then the result was what it was because, in the end, everyone has to get along. For instance, Jace isn’t nice either, but that is the reason why the narrative has to go to such lengths for readers to sympathize with him. It actively pushes leniency and sympathy towards Jace whereas other characters are held to a tougher and, in a sense, more realistic standard as to their behavior. Clare wants Jace to be a tormented tough boy but also wants the readers pitying him. Which then molds all the characters around Jace to what Clare wants for him, not what realistic characters being treated like garbage and taken for granted would ever put up with.

Emma can only think she doesn’t really understand what Cristina, Kieran, and Mark got going on together and can only be happy for them, because Emma thinking it’s fucking weird would be too controversial and make people dislike Emma because she doesn’t like or stand polyamory. Every character from TMI gang to TID to TDA to TLH has to stand on the exact same opinion on every issue because that’s the right thing to do, not that a group that size could ever have differing opinions or, horror, dislike each other for some reason. Coming close is James and Grace, and that is mostly ignored either way.

(SIDENOTE: Apparently Clare fucked up the Lightwood family tree by having Alex continue the family line because he was born 1900 and the next known descendant Isidore that is Isabelle and Alec’s great grandfather was born 1908. I kind of hoped that the Secrets of the Blackthorn Hall would’ve sorted this mess out but clearly not. Also: “Alexander inherited the Herondale coloring from his mother of deep blue eyes and black hair. He has a burn scar across his chest from a rune given to him as a baby.” What Herondale coloring is it really when it comes from Linette Owens??)

Anyway.

Your final paragraph was spot on. I also never thought about how Jem didn’t take care of Emma but then goes on to play family with Kit. After CoHF Jem goes to explore the world with Tessa and marry her. He wants to look after Emma but only after the parabatai ceremony with Julian does Jem come clean about his name to Emma. Convenient to say the least.

[evelhak]

I need to see what you can write for KagaKuro and the number 12 ♡

I had a talk about different points of view in writing with @lylakoi and I mentioned I only tend to use omniscient pov for satire or parody, because that's how I find it natural to create a sassy narrator voice. That made me want to challenge myself to writing something completely serious in that pov. I also tend to write all third person perspectives in past tense, so this time I'm going for present tense. I hope you'll enjoy reading this experiment! Thank you for the prompt. 💙

Mini(?) fic: Ripples Prompt: Things you said when you thought I was asleep Pairing: pansexual!Kagami/bigender!Kuroko Timeframe: Third year of high school Rating: Teen and up

---------Ripples---------

The stairs creak as Kagami finally makes his way upstairs towards Kuroko's little attic room. It has only been about twenty minutes, but that's how it feels to him—like forever. A small eternity he has spent with Kuroko's granny and the jungle of houseplants that have left the living room in a state not far from a mud bath. The granny believes in chaos. It is far too satisfying to let go of control while you're immersed in what's in front of you. You can always clean up later. Kagami likes Granny's thinking. She can turn the simple, boring task of repotting the houseplants into an adventure. It reminds Kagami of childhood, when dirt under your nails was a mark of a successful day. Things like this make him think that Granny seems both younger and older than most people.

Indeed, Operation Save The Jungle, as Kuroko's Granny likes to call it, is not why Kagami feels like too much time has passed, after Granny has sent him to check on Kuroko. He doesn't mind doing things with Granny, hasn't for a long time, not since he realised she wasn't out to get him for daring to date her precious grandson. (It was always the father Kagami should have worried about.) He hurries to Kuroko now, because he always does. Whenever Kuroko shows signs of overexertion, Kagami feels the ghost of last spring, the big slump, and he can't quite sit still.

He can't believe it used to be funny. How everyone, including him, could just tell Kuroko... "Don't die". It was a joke. Kagami knows the exact moment it changed, and he could never joke about that again.

Kuroko is not in danger. He is sleeping on the covers of his bed, curled around two other sleeping creatures—Nigou, and the old black cat Shiro who has valiantly carried Granny's sense of humour for 16 years. Kagami will see them in a moment, but for those few more creaky steps he has left before his hand reaches the door handle, his heart races a little. He has seen Kuroko in danger for twice too often. It will take longer than he understands, for those memories to turn into background noise.

It was in the middle of repotting a spider plant that Kuroko suddenly needed to lie down. He didn't say that his vision was blacking out, but Kagami can guess this much by now. It doesn't happen as often as it did before summer, but Kagami can't tell if it happens more or less than first year of high school. He wasn’t paying enough attention back then. One thing is definitely different, though. The causation from a source of exhaustion towards losing consciousness is not as straightforward to follow as it once was.

Kagami enters the room as quietly as he can do anything. Kuroko's easy, steady breathing calms his mind in a second. His jaw unclenches, his shoulders relax, but these changes are so small that Kagami himself cannot tell they are happening. His focus is on the unlikely sight on the bed. The eager dog and the grumpy cat are getting along. It makes Kagami grin a little, he thinks they would only do that for Kuroko's sake. When they can tell it isn’t the time to fight for his attention.

Kagami sits down on the bed. It creaks too, but like a whisper. A strand of hair on Kuroko's face seems to call him to wipe it away. Kagami doesn't intend to wake Kuroko, but he wonders if his face is paler, or feels colder to the touch than normal. He cannot decide. Kuroko looks peaceful, and a sigh escapes Kagami. His own worry brings the thought of Kuroko’s father back to his mind now. As much as he isn't appreciative of the fact that his place in the man’s good graces could be taken away on a whim, no matter how hard he has worked to earn it... there's also the fact that Kagami understands his worry. It isn't as misplaced as one might think at first. Excessive, maybe, but not untrue.

Kagami hasn’t seen everything that happens under the roof of this house. He doesn’t know about the morning Kuroko was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and suddenly he wasn’t. His father heard the sound of glass shattering against the floor tiles. He broke the door open. Kuroko wasn’t hurt, but afterwards he was no longer allowed to lock the bathroom door and his toothbrush would always sit in a plastic cup since then. Kagami is still unaware of all the incidents that have piled up over the years, because Kuroko is always a little too true to his life style. You won’t see what is happening behind the scenes, unless you make conscious effort to find out.

And yet, the ultimate point of discovery always comes. It is now demonstrably true that Kuroko’s father was not wrong about the dangers of fainting. Kagami is the last person to argue.

And then, there was always the other thing.

Now, looking at the love of his young life, asleep, unguarded, Kagami thinks that he understands Kuroko’s energy better. It's not that there's nothing coming from him. It's that most of it goes past people. But that doesn't mean there's no mark left, somewhere in their mind. A vague sense of having missed something. Kagami is not articulate enough to put it into words, but he can sense it with more clarity these days, an energy that dissolves itself to accentuate its duality. An energy that hits the point of full overlap. The mistake is easy to make, but it is not a neutral energy, it is not "neither". It is "either", it is both, and that's what confuses people. It doesn't fit into the dual world view despite of encapsulating it. It isn’t about the shoulds and shouldn’ts people assign each other. It isn’t about your role, even if crafting that can be used to communicate what’s deeper than that. The truth resides where the words to describe it end. People can tell on instinct. And you can see it in the underlying patterns of how they treat each other.

It took Kagami a while to see, but Kuroko's father's actions were never simple either. After a while though, they do speak louder than words. It becomes apparent to the one who knows what to look for, that the man isn't just punishing his son for kissing a boy. He is also, no matter how much discrepancy acting on the underlying instinct causes in him, protecting his daughter from said boy. There is no way Kuroko's father understands this, Kagami thinks. Kagami would not have been able to see it for what it is on his own before he had the right context. But that is how Kuroko’s father acts, regardless.

That man is far from the only one expressing a view of Kuroko more inconsistent, more easily shifting, than people on average have of each other. He’s only unique in that he’s the father, and the one most conflicted because of it.

After Kagami was aware of it, he could see it everywhere, in the smallest and the broadest strokes. To Kuroko’s father, the ultimate burden of proof always rested upon Kagami's shoulders. It wasn’t even an undertone. He made it perfectly clear he would accept their relationship, but only as long as Kagami had proved himself good enough. Just like that, the father’s frame of reference shifted from “I cannot let this half foreigner corrupt my son” to “I suppose I can accept this relationship as long as this boy’s affection appears to me as identical to a man’s love for a woman”. Because with someone like Kuroko, the shift in projection happens with an amount of incongruence that is right below the threshold. It’s just mild enough to ignore.

The question is… where do projection and the truth, the push and the pull, meet?

Kagami knows that identity doesn't always coincide with people's perceptions of you. But he is also beginning to see that it more often coincides with people's subconscious, underlying perception than the overt, literal one. He can't explain it, but he feels how it is in the ways people approach and respond to each other when they don’t think about it, in the ways those interactions make you feel, where the direction of pressure, stress, ease and flow are. He understands, on some, subconscious level, that it’s one thing to be viewed as something you “shouldn’t” be when it misses the mark, and another thing when something inside of you resonates with that perception reflected back to you in the eyes of others.

None of this was ever an issue to Kagami. Even the fact that the most reluctant person to accept that the truth resides somewhere in the contradictory ways people perceive him, is Kuroko himself, doesn't bother Kagami to any mentionable extent anymore. No, it's always the same crux in the end. It's because malicious people can pick and choose what they see. How it follows, that residing anywhere in the ambiguous territory makes it harder than average to anticipate what kind of violence you'll be the target for. It’s not necessarily more or less. It’s just less of one kind.

Kagami is not worried because he thinks that Kuroko inherently needs more protection than the average person. He’s worried because he can sense what he can’t explain. In his gut, he knows that a desire to deny the relationships between certain aspects of yourself and the world makes you blind to where exactly the crossroads with the biggest risks for you, are. And Kagami has seen Kuroko do that on multiple areas of his life. It’s not that it’s just Kuroko’s own fault. It’s not that he should know better. How could he know better?

In that sense, Kagami understands Kuroko's father, even if he doesn't agree with the man’s methods of protection. Kagami thinks there’s another kind of misdirection Kuroko can learn. The kind that allows him to control or at least anticipate how people will see him. Maybe then, Kuroko could feel more secure in all of this. Less reserved. Wouldn't have to so carefully put away anything he might wish to express about himself. Not for fear of attracting the wrong kind of attention.

What no one in this house, not even Granny for all her wisdom, understands in this particular instance, is how much comes down to a word. A word Kagami has, a word Kuroko has grudgingly accepted as the only explanation for the way he feels, a word Granny has accepted all too eagerly in Kuroko’s opinion, a word Kuroko’s father doesn’t have. Because a word; all the knowledge and understanding it opens, or the lack of it, translates into action. Kuroko’s father, quite literally, doesn’t know what he’s doing... or does he? Is it possible that he, in turn, has a word Kagami does not have?

Kagami never really felt like he needed words before. He was fine with just instinct. Kuroko confessed as much at one point too. Being with Kagami was like a wordless bubble where he could be fully who he was, no questions asked, because he felt that Kagami saw him and got him right from the beginning. But the rest of the world couldn’t measure up, and you have to live outside of the bubble too.

Kagami leans closer on the bed, caresses Kuroko's nose lightly with his, barely brushes against the sleepy lips with his own. They have agreed a long time ago that it's okay to kiss, even if the other is asleep. But Kagami is too in his head to notice the slight change to Kuroko's breathing, when he lets uncharacteristically quiet words into the air.

– Hey, I know you still... hide so many things. Even from me. Even from you.

Kagami thinks Kuroko is still asleep. He scratches his head.

– It's not like I'm holding my breath, or anything. You don't have to tell me. Even if you never want to share your unfinished thoughts... Even if they’ll just remain unfinished, I don't care. Not really. It's not like I haven't already got everything that matters, you know... with you.

Kagami lets out a dry sigh and looks away.

– I have no clue what the future holds for you. It's not like I spend much time thinking beyond tomorrow anyway... It's just... a feeling, I guess. That I sometimes have. When I look at you. Don’t know what makes me think it. But it's like... there's something left. Something... that has been in your words for so long. Not just words. Everything. Maybe since the beginning. Something you know but you don't know. If your mind doesn't know it, maybe your body knows it or something. I'm not smart enough to put it together for you. I would, if I could, but...

Had Kagami been aware that Kuroko was listening, he would have stopped talking already. For a while Kuroko was so torn over the possibility of any conflict of identity. Like it was literally the last thing he needed in his life. The worst nightmare. Kagami feels ashamed about not understanding how it could be that big of a deal. He barely had any prejudice about who he was attracted to, at any point in his life. He could on some level and contexts be described as a lot more gender-blind than average, although it’s too conceptual for him to put like that himself. That is the reason he didn’t care, regardless. Why it was difficult for him to understand how something that always fit their relationship perfectly as long as it was wordless, unspoken, never pointed at, suddenly made Kuroko insecure, when it had a name. Not just with the rest of the world, but around Kagami too.

Things with names begin to take a clearer shape. To become more visible. Words have the power to affect how we see and what we see.

Kagami is aware of his mistake now. Even after Kuroko admitted to the core of his complicated feelings, the sense of caution didn't leave Kagami. He said too much once.

Kagami is no longer gripped by his own insecurities it sparked, and his circumstances over the summer forced him to understand none of it was caused by anything in Kuroko. After the summer, Kagami no longer questions how letting something to the surface—or being ambushed by it from the depths, could cause a sudden aversion to that which was just going along with the flow before in the undercurrent, away from your immediate consciousness. He understands all too well. About things that can alter your sense of reality and self. About things you cannot control.

– I guess I just wish you knew that I don't care, but that’s like, in a good way, and I'll be there, because I obviously do care, you know. I’ll be there whatever you'll do. And I can't say this to you, because then you'll think that I think you'll do something specific which I’m just not saying out loud. But it's not like that. It's so much vaguer than that, it's... more like there's still a piece of the puzzle missing. The piece that will... tie everything together in some new way. Everything you don’t know what to do with.

Kagami rolls his eyes and leans the bridge of his nose on his knuckles.

– I sound mental...

He turns away from Kuroko and lies down on his back next to the sleepy trio. In truth, Kuroko is now aware of Kagami’s every word and every movement, and something in him illuminates from the inside for the thousandth time, clinging to all of that, not like a lifeline, not like a string of light, but like a microscopic pattern that shouldn’t matter but changes everything anyway.

And then, Kagami says one more thing.

– You’re gonna be fine, you know. Because where the world puts an “or” you’ll always find a way to have an “and”.

At the last word, Kuroko’s heart races, and his eyes sting, but none of it is visible from the outside, just like everything else that has been hidden inside him, everything that still never was, and never will be hidden as well as he would like, everything he believes should stay hidden. Kuroko will believe that for some time still. The clock is ticking past midnight. The ocean waves are crashing too hard. The lake seems perfectly still, but sometimes, especially when the boy lying on his back next to Kuroko is close, there are ripples.

-------------------------

Some appropriate music I listened to:

[crossedwithblue]

You're a Mansfield Park fan?

Yes!

IDK if you intended it as such but I am going to take this as a license to ramble about MP on main.

I think the thing about MP is that people (especially people who aren't as quite intense about JA than I am lmao, or who have only read P&P before) often come to it expecting a light-bright-and-sparkling romance like P&P, and are surprised when that isn't the case. Hell, I felt like that too on the first read, because the pop-culture perception of JA is that she was a romance writer first and foremost - but the romantic happy-ever-after is shoehorned into a few paragraphs on the last page or two, and not even shown on the page. MP isn't a romance novel at all - I have minimal English lit knowledge outside of JA, but I'd class it as more of a bildungsroman, maybe? Or a predecessor to those modern Literary Novels all about objectively nasty people being nasty to each other? (More on this in a min) I would very much welcome corrections from people who do know what they're talking about, though!

To me, JA isn't actually a romance writer most of the time. She wrote really good romances because she was really good at characterisation and at understanding and describing how personalities interact to form relationships, and romance is just one type of relationship. It's just the one that pop culture tends to focus on when it comes to JA (I mostly blame Georgette Heyer but of course there's an essay to be written on that too). The only JA novels I'd describe as true romances are P&P, of course, and Persuasion - the rest have romance as just one among many other dynamics as a supporting or side plot, or a tool to reveal characterisation, rather than being the main focus.

Fanny is also a very passive narrator who tends to be acted upon rather than acting herself, which tends to irritate people, but MUCH more on that in a minute.

I think MP is in some ways sort of... cruel. It's certainly the most openly incisive and potentially upsetting, with depictions of complex abusive/toxic family dynamics that could probably come straight out of a domestic/familial abuse/neglect resource. The point where I started to enjoy MP was when someone told me to embrace the schadenfreude - everyone besides Fanny and Edmund (possibly - both points very much up for debate, but they are at least trying their best in the middle of a family that doesn't give a fuck, really) is either an actively terrible person or at least a pretty bad enabler. That did help me find the humour in it, but personally I certainly find it a bit hard to read at times, especially the Mrs Norris scenes. It's not usually my first choice when I want to be cheered up.

This also tends to surprise people, I think, because the pop-culture image of JA, (probably in large part due to her Victorian relatives wanting to protect her posthumous image) is of a twinkly, proper, sweet-natured spinster lady.

Which she was not. Anyone who's seen extracts of her surviving letters knows that she had a biting, frequently uncharitable sense of humour (miscarriage jokes aren't a great look, Jane!) - and we know Cassandra destroyed the really juicy stuff, so that's got to be the tip of the iceberg. This is certainly apparent in all of her books, but can be ignored much of the time - but not in MP, where uncharitable descriptions of awful people are pretty much the core of the book.

Finally, we come to Fanny, the extremely divisive heroine (not least because of that name lol). Personally I tend to imprint on pathetic small girls who need looking after, but Fanny is a massive turnoff (lolol) for many people. I think that's just a personal thing but I enjoy the effect of her frequently becoming another layer through which the narrative filters - JA was a master of free indirect speech, of course, often with deliberate ambiguity about whose POV is being reported - omniscient narrator or character or both in agreement - and if it's a character, then which one? Fanny usually says and does little, but observes very keenly and astutely, which interacts in a really interesting way with the narration.

Also, I'd just like to point out that Fanny is Like That because she is an abuse victim. She may not be the most compelling heroine for everyone, but she isn't going to "just stand up for herself". The one time she does, the Bertrams punish her for it pretty harshly by sending her back to an environment that they know will be bad for her physical health (!)

Bit of a tangent but I am also a huge fan of Jane Eyre and I think there are interesting parallels to be drawn between Fanny and Jane. Jane Eyre is a fiery, independent character who manages to get out of bad situations one way or another, mostly through sheer dumb luck (don't get me wrong I love my girl Jane but How did she leave that parcel on the coach...). If she'd stayed at Gateshead, I could see her gradually getting beaten down until she became a lot more like Fanny - because other than Jane's innate temper, they have quite a bit in common - they both do, when it comes down it, have a very strong sense of self (yes, even Fanny) and the ability to reject things that they know are morally wrong, no matter the potential cost.

That turned into a bit of a defense of MP because I usually hear people dissing it and so that's what I end up thinking about. Lots more to be said on the Crawfords and the Bertrams, of course.

[simlit]

ALL OF THEM FOR EIF YA BITCH

first of all, how rude.

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

His resilience. Eifra is constantly seen as an easy target, and physically, he's not particularly strong, but he's endured a lot and has the ability to bounce back from just about anything.

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

His kindness. It's the one thing he's most taken advantage for. He's aware of it, and people constantly warn him, but I don't think even he would choose to be different.

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

All of the above lmao. Depends on the threat. He does naturally frighten easily, but he's also a very seasoned hunter. Even if he's afraid, he has the ability to temper his nerves to withstand a fight, but if he knows it's a fight he'll lose, he'll happily flee.

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Eif would never endanger others, but he would put himself through a world of pain if he thought it would help someone he loves. Again, all depends on the context.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Not... easily. He would have to be put in a very precarious position, to know it was his only option, or if someone's life depended on it. But he's also not so much of a goodie two shoes that his moral compass is swung so far to one side.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Ah, this is a fun question. I think I mentioned before I actually intended for Eifra's PoV to only exist as an introduction to Zeh's. But instead he became pretty much the defacto protagonist and narrator for the sequel. I didn't expect to love Eifra as much as I did, and I got attached to him, both as a writer, but also through Zehel. In the same way that I fell in love with Yeryn's romance, Zehel and Eifra's relationship *is* the main dynamic of Arcaen'vel. Eifra is Zehel's crux. He's his driving force and he pushes both the plot and Zehel's character development forward. I went in thinking Zehel would be the main character in what I thought was his own story, but Eifra really had another plan (though I'm sure if I explained it that way to him, he'd disagree and hold Zeh's pedestal that much higher lmao). The two share the spotlight in different ways. But if you asked me like three years ago if I thought the successor to Yeryn's line would be some random hybrid kiddo I'd have slapped your face.

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

NO lmfao. Eifra would never just commit murder. But he certainly wouldn't have the braincells to get out of it if he did.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Yes! Zehel's theme for Eifra is "A Sky Full of Stars" by Coldplay, and I can literally not listen to this song without thinking of him. "Cuz you get lighter the more it gets dark, I'm gonna give you my heart."

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Tbh, I think Eif would work in any AU, but I'll have to choose the most boring and say I'd love to see him in a modern storyline with Zeh. Just because Eifra adapts so well to our timeline.

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Bow and arrow. He can hunt well regardless, but his arrows are also the only way he can channel dragonfire. It's the only defense he has, not having been born with arcane magic.

Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

Yes, and no. I think he sometimes gives too much of himself away, but I wouldn't say he's actively tearing himself down. But he'd be willing to let people walk all over him if it'd make them happy and that's not a particularly healthy way to live, either.

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Probably LOL. I mean he's a much MUCH better person than me, but his self-deprecating humor is so relatable. He's a really uplifting person, which is actually the type of person I most enjoy being around, but he does lack the petty shittalk side I require my friendships to have so that I may thrive lmao.

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

I don't think he much cares how other perceive him, but I think he'd like his friends to see him as reliable. Someone that can be depended on, even when things get difficult.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

We all know I don't do real human face claims, but I do have an artwork I pinned ages ago that encapsulates his vibes down to his stature and dress style, the only thing off about it is the hair, otherwise really spot on: here.

What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

Surprisingly high. Eifra has been through... shit. And he's conditioned himself for things most people have never had to. He's been forced to survive most of his life, and I think that gives someone a lot of internal strength. He also has an incredibly good hold of his mental. In a situation where he knew he'd have to endure something to save someone, he wouldn't even miss a beat.

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

He's very personable, but honestly he understands people wanting space. He gets attached to Zehel so easily because he feels like he owes him his life (he kind of does lmao), so it's a bit of specific situation. Normally, Eifra is the type to only approach if asked, but he'd always be able to reply. He's incredibly charismatic.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

I think Eifra has only been truly angry a handful of times in his life. Only once severe enough to have some physical repercussion. Usually he lets things slide off him, and doesn't get caught up on negative feelings.

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

Unsurprisingly not at all lmao.

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Neither, but I suppose in the context of their world, he's sort of "broken". He's half elf, half dragon, but he was born magicless, and his wings never developed properly. He's also not able to shift into dragonform, which is usually something that gets bred out over many generations. As he's a "first generation" mix, this is exceedingly odd. He's the only known halflyn to have one dragon parent and not be able to shapeshift.

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Lawful/Neutral Good

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Desire. Eifra has an incredibly difficult time asking for anything, even if he needs those things to actually survive. He feels embarrassed and burdensome to ask favors of others, and hates to be indebted to them. He constantly sees himself as a weight holding back his friends, and would rather starve than to ask for money for food or anything similar.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

His tenacity. Eifra is such a hard person to keep down, and even though I find these people really annoying irl, I think in stories, juxtaposed characters like Zeh, they become so much more likeable, and important. I think Eifra has a lot of qualities I gravitate to, but being in Zehel's head for almost four-hundred pages, my love and violent need to throw my life on line to protect Eif at all costs is so deeply engrained in me LOL. Zehel really following in Daddy's footsteps by being the world's second biggest simp, only in his case it exists within a platonic friendship, and honestly, I think it's the most fitting storyline I could have written for him.

[whoslaurapalmer]

@littlestsnicket tagged me in wip tuesday!!

right now my two main wips are the maltese falcon rewrite and another post-canon babybea Thing and both of them are in wildly different stages of planning (maltese falcon has a chart and is like. 50ish% planned? it's slow going but i do in fact make progress on it every day, so i feel good about it. babybea thing is coasting on vibes and i'm going back and forth on if a certain angst piece holds in it, bc it is ideally supposed to be fun but would regardless have to discuss some vfd trauma and the like SO. i look at it and sigh a lot. also mother of mercy mayo i have that wip to write for you about sunny and babybea, too. i will fit that in. sssssssomewhere. i got stalled on some dialogue that didn't even matter to the overall plot but mattered to the specific part of the scene. i will get there, she says, staring in horror off in the distance) ANYWAY i do have some potential lines floating around in all the planning --

maltese falcon rewrite --

detective ghede was not necessarily old enough to be my sister’s mother, however, that was how she acted.

i think this line will get to stay. i really like the thought that gifford and ghede would also, when presented with kit, try and act like a mother to her, too. also maltese falcon rewrite is from kit's pov but with lemony's narration, for Reasons That Will Become Clear During The Course Of The Story. Please Eye Every Single Sentence Of This Fic With Deep, Delicious Concern

babybea Thing --

on the shelf in her little room on the first floor of the bildungsroman bed and breakfast, beatrice kept Her Things. she took them home to the city with her every sunday evening, and brought them back every friday afternoon, and arranged them in order on the cream shelves above the bed, standing on her toes atop a pile of pillows. [ohhhhh yknow yknow, etc] and, last but of course not least, a portable radio she’d bought herself.

The Radio Has A Very Specific Importance And I Cannot Wait To Dig Into It. also i love that it's of course not least. nothing is least to babybea. god i love her so much. also, bildungsroman bed and breakfast my absolute beloved, although i do intend for the baudelaires to feature a lot more heavily in this too bc i do them a minor disservice in making babybea hang out with her uncles all the time. the [yknow yknow, etc] is bc i haven't come up with her other possessions and i did not want it to slow me down in the sentence because it CAN and WILL if i am in a mood that lacks the willpower to go 'figure it out later, girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

[faeparrish]

What did you think about Adam apparently trying to talk himself out of being in love with Ronan when he went home to st Agnes every night?? It sounded so prosey but it didn’t feel like it was supported by the text? Like I felt the Opal story and CDTH did nothing to indicate that

omg sorry i only just saw this q !! but yeah idk i’ve been thinking a lot about that recently. i think with certain contexts it does make some sense to me? not that adam would want to stop loving ronan but that he’d feel like he should stop loving him. that ending things sooner rather than later felt like the safer thing to do for both of them, emotionally speaking. having said that, i feel like if we’d been in adam’s head at all through trkopal or dreamer trilogy, it would’ve made this information less surprising (another loss for the adam pov agenda rip). i have a lot of thoughts on this tho and i ended up writing a lot more than i intended to so i’m going to get into it under the cut !

ok so first off, i think in terms of adam’s arc in dreamer trilogy (or what we saw of it lol) it would make a lot more obvious sense for him to be having that dilemma. at that point he’s actually living in this version of himself that can’t coexist with the version of him who chose a life with ronan. it did kind of surprise me that he’d been feeling that way in the opal story, but then again that story was only told through opals eyes so we only really got bits and pieces of the full picture. we weren’t in adam or ronan’s heads. i think it’s kind of interesting that maggie went back to it from a sort of omniscient point of view in greywaren tho — she tends to do that a lot, like retrospectively add new context to previous scenes by changing perspectives. i guess a perk of writing multiple points of view is that you get a novel filled with unreliable narrators, which means you can withhold information from readers by having characters misread or ignore certain aspects of a situation.

going back to what you said tho i feel like some people would read that section you mentioned and take it to mean that he was going back on his conversation with gansey in trk or that he didn’t want to be with ronan. i don’t think that’s it at all - i think he saw that they were heading towards a future that couldn’t hold their relationship without either of them having to compromise some fundamental part of their lives. and these were compromises that neither of them could make or would let the other make. it was also a conversation they weren’t having; we know they weren’t properly communicating at that point, not in the way they perhaps should’ve been given their situation. but it’s also heavily implied that the reason they weren’t voicing their concerns was because they both knew they wouldn’t be able to fix these problems by just voicing them. they were going to go in circles: adam didn’t want to do long distance; ronan couldn’t move to boston; adam could go to a closer school but ronan would never let him do that.

i think it’s also important to note that they were both at a crossroads in their lives that summer. they’d survived past the point where they thought they would, and now the things they thought they wanted in life were starting to feel different to them. everything was going to shift when adam moved away. they both knew something about their situation had to change but neither of them were ready or able to make it happen. and so they spent a blissful summer trying to avoid confronting it, because it hurt too much to admit that it all felt impossible.

i think we should also remember that we didn’t have any povs from adam in dreamer trilogy OR the opal story. every time we saw the pair of them interacting in dreamer trilogy it was through ronan, who was absolutely in denial about how hard it was going to be for them (see: his theory of plausible deniability at the beginning of cdth). we have to base our understanding of adam’s behaviour on outside observations of him. ronan’s pov in cdth does mention how tumultuous adam’s mental state had been during that summer, especially when he found out he was accepted at harvard. he was anxious about starting something he’d been working towards for years, and he was anxious about leaving ronan and having to deal with the reality of their relationship outside of the barns. it makes sense that adam, who is generally less in denial about harsh realities than ronan, was probably having a silent dilemma over it. he’s an incredibly practical character, he over-analyses everything, there’s not a single outcome of a situation that he wouldn’t consider. there was no way that he hadn’t at least touched on the possibility of having to end things with ronan, however painful that outcome is. he was probably debating whether it was worth dragging themselves through something that was inevitably going to hurt them, or if it would just be easier to confront it head on. it’s one of those things that sometimes happens in relationships where, yes, the love between the two people is strong and present, but the love isn’t the problem. it’s their circumstances. sometimes you can’t see a way to fit your life and your relationship together, sometimes you can’t find a compromise that works, and i think that’s what adam was afraid of. he associated ronan with the magic part of his life. in his mind, magic and harvard couldn’t coexist.

the problem adam clearly had was that while this self-preserving and practical side of him was trying to reason it out (i.e. if you convince yourself you don’t love someone then you save yourself the pain of losing them), the more emotional side of him couldn’t fathom not loving ronan. as soon as he was with ronan again, the reality of loving him was too tangible. which also fits into why it feels slightly surprising to learn this information: we pretty much only saw adam when he was with ronan in trkopal, and (as we now know) every time he was with ronan he forgot everything he’d been telling himself when alone. it became impossible for him to imagine ever throwing their relationship away for anything. i also think that’s why that line is so sad. ronan meant so much to him that adam couldn’t convince himself to step away and save his heart from further pain.

and then we have ronan. he’d essentially been having the same dilemma over their situation as adam. distance from someone makes it easy to convince yourself that things won’t work out. isolation and distance makes it even easier. which is why (amongst other factors) it reached a point in book 2 where ronan, more isolated and distanced than ever, ended up being the one to call it. because ronan sees things in black and white and adam tends to focus on the grey areas. because ronan is driven by impulse and adam is driven by considered decisions. because at that time, ronan couldn’t exist in multiples; he was already being pulled in so many directions by his human side and his magic side. he didn’t know how to exist as both: as soon as one thread from his human life came loose, he was unable to contain the rest. adam, however, has always existed in multiples. student and logician, man and boy, etc. his life is a balancing act. he’d balanced friends and school and magic and work and an abusive home life; he could balance this too. he could hold on to this. to quote adam himself, he wanted it too much. even after ronan had essentially ended things between them, adam still found somewhere safe for ronan’s body, still came back to visit him, still risked his life scrying in order to find him. it’s like adam said in greywaren, ronan was where he stored all the reality. with the direction he was going in his life at that point, if he lost ronan, he was losing the one person who knew the truest version of him — he’d essentially end up losing himself fully.

so yes. i think considering everything, it does make sense to me that adam had that dilemma because it fits with the way he behaved in dreamer trilogy. it also feels very realistic. everyone has doubts, or considers cutting loose to avoid the risk of heartbreak. i think it’s quite an accurate depiction of how a lot of people behave and feel in relationships, especially when it’s your first long-term relationship, and especially when you were never taught how to properly and healthily communicate (which neither of them were). it’s hard to imagine a way out of the problems you’re facing, especially when those problems feel out of your control. but i think for me it only solidified how strongly adam felt for ronan, because even with those fears and those doubts he was never going to walk away. no matter how much easier it may have felt to do so, he always came back.

[alleyskywalker]

THROBB FORTNIGHT Fic Recs: Days 6-10

Day 6: Role/Fortune reversal

A Different Tide by VagrantWriter (M, 54k)

This one is a true classic! A fortune reversal romance/coming of age novel where Robert's Rebellion fails and after Ned is killed in the fighting, Robb is sent to live as an exiled bastard on Pyke, under the guardianship of Quellon Greyjoy. Meanwhile, the Greyjoys never fought in the Rebellion and just generally the things go a little differently for them because of that. Theon grows up at home, but as a third son, not the heir, and with the menacing presence of his brothers still very much around. This story tracks Robb's and Theon's friendship as it grows and flourishes into romance, and as they are forced to navigate the drama and intrigues of the Greyjoy family and Euron's deadly power games. The ending is a bit bittersweet but ties up all the loose ends nicely and with hope, and takes exciting turns getting there!

Day 7: Pining

Artificial Respiration by cheerynoir (T, 3.7k)

This fic is actually part of a series but honestly can be read on its own (though the series overall is great too)! A modern AU with a seemingly very simple, cliche premise: Robb gets dumped and turns to Theon for comfort and snuggles. Now, the hurt/comfort is cute and sweet but the pining is what gets me every time. Theon is so far gone, but also so convinced that Robb will never reciprocate - it's exactly the right type of painful. The POV is heartbreaking and masterfully done, exactly Theon's combination of internal chaos and external projection of confidence/nonchalance. But what makes it even better is that Theon is definitely an unreliable narrator and it becomes obvious at one point or another that perhaps his pining is not oh so unrequited after all. But of course, in true throbb fashion, they are incapable of actually communicating with one another, so they pine and suffer and cuddle. And it's honestly a joy to read.

Day 8: Execution/“Robb’s Choice”

Tears in Waves by Rovardotter (T, 1.3k)

An excellent, tragic rendition of this genre! More gen than ship, but Robb's pain at having to Do The Deed is heartfelt and genuine. I appreciated how this fic did the characterization, how there was no pretending that Robb would ever consider endangering his family or honor for Theon, but that doesn't mean the situation is easy for him and he suffers from the resulting guilt. This is just a beautifully executed (…no pun intended) bit of angst with a gut-punch of an ending.

Day 9: War (Romance)

Babel by mautadite (E, 6k)

Perhaps a loose interpretation of this prompt but I'm glad I have a chance to rec this fic, because it's one of my favorite No Defection AUs. In this one, Theon never goes to Pyke and ends up taking the arrow meant for Robb at the Crag. As he recovers, the boys have to deal with the wartime politics of Balon's rebellion that they suddenly hear about as well as their own relationship. The tension and characterizations are really well done in this one! And! Smut I actually enjoyed (lol)! If you know me, you know that's kind of rare for me. But it really does fit in so nicely here, and really plays up Robb being eager but a bit inexperienced.

Day 10: Reincarnation

Phantom Life by VagrantWriter (M, 15k)

A really cleverly done reincarnation fic where Theon lives a life in the "real" modern world and has a lot of the things he didn't get in canon - a happy love and marriage with Robb, children, a close relationship with his sister, even a reasonably supportive father. But then one day he begins to remember his past Westerosi life (while no one else does) and it drives him a little mad. This fic is engaging and enthralling and keeps up the suspense where you keep wondering how this will all resolve. It's got both that fluffy modern AU feel in part but also deals with Theon's (and Theon and Robb's) canon issues. A bit of both worlds! And of course, a satisfying resolution and happy ending ❤

[workingchemistry]

After rambling paragraphs in your comment section I have come on Tumblr to write more lmao. Seriously I wrote 4 journal pages of thoughts about your au it's very good!

Ok so first, I love how the fight dynamic is: jump Fox when he is being stupid -> 17 breaks up fight -> profit. Except now everything's all wrong so they had to call 17 over to fix things in post. Just hilarious and good continuity.

Your manipulative Fox is excellent show don't tell. It's honestly really hard to write a smart dude without being basically psychic or actually failing a lot. So like even though a lot of people love manipulative Fox it's hard to show in such a low stakes fashion. Usually wr just see him blackmailing people or otherwise winning instead of slowing gathering intel and influencing someone. The pacing and POV just makes it work.

Ace!Fox and Allo!Bly solidarity is hilarious. It cracks me up that the Kaminoans somehow didn't realize that most of the clones are ace spectrum. Like i question if the whole defective CT for CC batches worked even once as intended when every CC is only interested in adoption. "Natborns are obsessed with sex" indeed. Fox knows what's up.

Fox being more genuine with Bly and 17 and even Laruk was adorable. Especially with 17 where we got to realize that all the cadet style military discipline is affectionate with 17. Feral!Fox and his barely older dad my beloved.

I love how the deterministic gene editing totally matters but also doesn't matter much at all. Like all it really did is make a hierarchical family dynamic. Alphas will absolutely parent solo because they are competitive. CCs are big on being at the middle level of parenting and ori'vod-ing because they are only as competitive (for affection) as necessary to get the primary position in a cuddle pile. CTs are totally comfy with looking after younger siblings while still being looked after by the CCs. Ultimately they are all chomping at the bit to create a found family irrespective of genes.

Satine and Fox are so interesting because Satine cares that he is bleeding because of her principles not because she is being kind. Fox likewise pretends to be nice constantly so that she doesn't die on his watch and he gets blamed. Like him expressing understanding over natborn women being uncomfortable with men is just so he can do his job. He gets it but he doesn't really care about a stranger's hypothetical trauma.

Caring about your appearance is absolutely not a baseline experience for clones. Choosing to deviate from regulation at all is a huge expression of individuality even if you still present as a man.

Also like, Satine they are not soldiers by choice. Why would they have a culture that values violence above all else when they don't choose that life. As Fox was explaining in the creche, violence between vode is about love and survival, bot bloodthirsty bloodthirstyness or glory.

Also yeah, Satine will be totally offended by Fox's philosophy on death and murder. "The only deaths I care about are my brothers and they die all the time. If the purge was real I would fix the overcrowding in the senate dome no problem."

lol. They had a Method. It’s always a struggle when your younger brother is both smarter and dumber than you are. Usually beating him up and getting lecture by the only person he listens to is effective but then they tried to beat him up without Seventeen being there and it just didn’t work as well.

Ahh. Thank you. 😭 Fox is so fun as an unreliable narrator because he’s being purposeful about what he tells people when and even what he lets himself thing about but it makes me so nervous that I’m showing too much of my hand lol.

😂😂 I’m just too obsessed with the idea of the clones being ace mostly because I’m ace and so I love the idea of a culture where being allo is met with confusion. I don’t think the Kaminoans thought about sex drive at all until the trainer pops up saying it’s a problem. They give the CCs a CT and they seem more pliable so I guess it must have worked. Meanwhile the CCs are losing their minds over having a new tubie to take care of and mother hen. The CTs on the other hand are dubious but willing to be babied bc they’ve gone from living under the threat of decom to being protected by the most feral clones they’ve ever met. 😂

Seventeen acts a lot more aggressive than he really is. He’s not against thrashing his kids to make them behave but he always does it with affection. I just love to think about like Kenobi and company realizing their commanders and troopers are actually the semi domesticated version when they start digging into things and see the kinda shit that Fox and the Corries pull off unsupervised.

That is such a perfect description. 😭 the Aureks are extremely possessive and don’t really trust each other while the CCs don’t really trust outsiders. The CTs on the other hand are comparatively easy going despite what natborns think. They see these men doing crazy things on the battle and think they’re insane but actually CTs are very affectionate and willing to adopt everyone into their found families. They’re just also more willing to listen to a no. Aureks Will Forcibly adopt anyone from the younger series and CCs will latch onto anyone and dig their teeth in until they’ve subdued their targets.

Satine is so much fun to play against Fox because they’re kind of the same subset of person but with different ideals. They both come across as very helpful and caring and it’s not that they aren’t but they aren’t altruistic—even though Satine values altruism, everything she does is to further her ideals and people so it’s not actually good for good’s sake. Satine cares about Fox’s wellbeing because she feels responsible for him and Fox cares about Satine’s wellbeing because he is responsible for her. She wouldn’t be more sad about him dying than she would any rando and he would say good riddance to her if his family could get away with it.

The clones in other battalions get to play around with their appearance at least, but Fox can’t let his Corries even do that. Too much hinges on them being interchangeable. Those with identifying scars get pulled off of Senate duty and when he got his facial scar he had a whole breakdown because it meant he couldn’t step in and pretend to the others anymore. So that means what little individuality he can give to them is extremely precious and if that’s just which pronouns and names being used, he will fight for them. If they are already too identifiable with scars, he lets them grow out their hair and dye it as long as they leave enough undyed roots so it can be shaved off in an emergency. Makeup and nail polish and accessories are shared freely and used by everyone regardless of gender identity within the barracks.

The love/violence and inaction/hate culture clash is so fun to me. Like hurting your brother so that the trainer doesn’t do it is love as far as the vode are concerned. Standing aside and not correcting a mistake is setting your brother up for a decom. Satine’s preconceived notions about war and the reasons natborns fight doesn’t fit when these are just men who aren’t allowed to anything else. Like sure they enjoy killing sometimes. They enjoy getting a job done and they’re desensitized to murder. It has nothing to do with the actual killing. Later this will be highlightened when we get to see Fox doing the bare minimum to protect a natborn compared to Rex, Cody, Wolffe, and Bly all nearly killing themselves to protect their generals. Inaction vs action is a huge thing for them. Fox quite quit his job years ago. He’s just keeping his men alive at this point. Fuck everyone else.

Fox really said if the terrorists wanted to be harder to catch that would be great actually. Oh no he’s accidentally dropping the plans to the senate dome. If he could guarantee that no one would be alive to retaliate afterwards, he’d commit a murder spree, take his troopers, and book it out of there.

[rollercoasterwords]

I love how sirius is viewed differently from each pov.

Like, from his perspective his relationship with reg has a lot of resentment and guilt, he puts himself in this martyr position that he has to protect his innocent little brother, but from regs perspective he doesn’t see any of that, there is this almost childish sibling jealousy and competition. I think because I’m also the younger sister I could really understand regs feelings; siblings get jealous of each other all the time especially as a kid, and reg suffered a lot of neglect by his parents and this really shows even in his adulthood. Sirius in his pov seems very distant and even cruel at some parts (not as a child), like he didn’t make any effort for their relationship, regulus even wants to spend time with his brother despite all their unspoken problems. Then we read sirius pov and we can see how he feels and what his intentions were.

Sirius in remus pov is very funny to me, because he is expressive and so stubborn. I like to compare remus pov with sirius pov just to see the difference like

In sirius pov

“I thought you might be.”

Sirius looks up. Their eyes meet. Remus smiles, a little scrap of a thing.

And in remus pov of the same scene

“I thought you might be.”

Sirius looks up. There’s something canine about him, imploring. Remus smile a little, because really, it is funny.

I just find him hilarious without even trying, it’s nice to see the contrast of each perspective. I love how complex you made this characters, they feel alive to me.

i hope u have a nice day 💜 thank you such a great story

yeah it's been!! a lot of fun playing around with different povs in the fic. originally i was intending to just write the whole thing from sirius's pov, but after finishing the first part there was a lot that i felt just wouldn't really come through if the story was limited to his pov only--unless i like wrote really forced conversations or ooc realizations/thoughts etc, so that's why i ended up feeling like we needed to get remus's side of the story too--and writing the different ways they each view each other and themselves was so much fun and really helped me flesh out the story more! nobody in this story is a 100% reliable narrator, and writing from different povs helped me emphasize that each character has limits to their perspective. my goal is to give readers puzzle pieces more than statements of fact, so that it's up to each reader to weigh the biased povs they're getting and then fit them together and draw their own conclusions about the characters from the image that they get.

and i didn't really decide to include a reg pov until i was writing sirius's backstory, and then it felt, again, like i needed to add another perspective in there for the sake of developing both characters--they see each other and their relationship differently, but neither of them is wrong about their characterization of events; it's all just a matter of perspective. sirius was cruel to reg in some ways, and that's very clear from regulus's pov where you're getting the emotional aspect of having your big brother who used to be your closest friend suddenly rebuff you and ignore you in a way that mimics the treatment he's received growing up from their parents. but it's not just as simple as "sirius is being cruel," because we understand from sirius's pov that he was dealing with a lot of pain and simply did not have the emotional bandwidth to be a good brother--and it's not like regulus was a perfect brother either! but even where they're in conflict, it's not as simple as right/wrong good/bad.

anyway ty 4 the kind words so happy 2 hear ur enjoying the fic! <3